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SELF-DEFENCE TANK

YEAR: 2018   SIZE: 50cmX40cm   

I sit in a self-defence tank. I sit in so little light. It is tight in my tank, and I can’t hear a music, the sound of the wind, or of birds singing. Neither the aroma of flowers nor of delicious food comes my way. The soft freshness of the forest, the colours of rainbow, and the stars stay far away. None of this is in my life, but it's safe here. No one can come in side. Still, I feel lonely, and my heart longs to play and sing and dance. But I remain here inside, because I am too scared to give it a chance. Fear of the unknown, of being exposed, of suffering, of something I can’t control paralyses me. I am wounded and carry so much pain inside. I feel ashamed, and I don't want anyone see me like that. So I hide. I stay in my self-defence tank. When I open my eyes, I find a pearl in my palm. I sense that something or someone has been here with me all the time. No, I am not alone. This is Life whispering it's wisdom—in the form of a pearl in my hand. Pearls are white, and they give a little light, so now I can see that my tank is not so solid. Some water and golden clouds have found their way in. Some seeds have taken root, and the walls of my self-defence tank are coloured in pale hues. All of this has come in, which means I can go out! I could enjoy the stars, rainbows, and clouds. I could start to dance, play, sing, and laugh. However I would have to stand up and leave my safe place called self-defence tank.